sometimes i wonder, do i really mean anything to you ?
there was so many times that there was a opening for you to just do something right.


---------------------------------------


you never think you're wrong. even when i say this to you, you can still make it sound like its my fault. im being overbearing, im being over demanding.
what the bloody fuckness.


i shake off your hands and in my head i keep imaging you would come back holding them tightly.
i imagine alot of things that i would love you to do but i know you'll never do.


how you would hug me tightly just to cool me down when im angry,
how you kiss me just to stop me from complaining.
how you would hold my hands whenever you have the chance.
how you would give me a tight hug and a smile when we meet so that i know i was being missed.


there is so many things i would love for you to do. but you never,
strange. as a couple, im always doing stuff, talking about issues bothering us.
ya. maybe i watch too much drama,
ya maybe you are not the talking sort. but i put in effort.
where's yours?



sometimes i do know that im very overbearing
but at least i do not blame other things when confronted.
blame my friends, blame me, blame the world. blame everything except yourself.
if i am so bad in your eyes, why bother staying together for so long.


yoo're a con man. con me almost 4 fucking years of my time.
thinking back, i know i have put in effort in this relationship, i know my temper is bad but i working on it. you leh ? do wad ? put in wad effort ? your most common excuse is to ask me forgive you cause you're not such a person who do such sweet stuff .
but when you love someone, there are things that you will do it, it comes naturally.


during this period, there was no call no sms from you.
i try telling myself to control to hold back and not to call you.
but when my determination breaks and i call you. all i get is a pile of shit answers.


i asked: why you didnt call or sms me all this while ? im not missed ?
he said: after you say all those angry stuff to me when we quarrel,
you think i will missed yoo yoo think i will wanna call yoo ?



oh, so after alllllll this long time. in your mind yoo can only think of the times we quarrel.
yoo bloody MF. who quarrel wont be fierce one ?
i think there is something wrong with your bloody pig head .
obviously our love is not there even though you say it is .
YOO ARE JUST USED TO ME.
even though it hurts me to say.
but im glad i woke up now rather than further down the road.


I had alot to say,
Was thinking on my time away,
I missed you but things weren't the same.
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you,
And I know I can't take it back.


Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears i cried
It's never too late to make it right but i know you'll never turn around.



So i guess. im just not worth it for you to pick up your phone to call me.
so, im not missed.
i get it.
bye.