Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday





------------------------------------------------





Went to register my bike theory today. UBI !
thought it was very far from my house . but ok lah . quite near.

when hougang to find nai ma at her workplace.
while waiting for her to get off work walk around Hmall.

This is the first time i went to hougang since 2 months ago.
used to go down rain or shine everyday to meet him.
used to just walk anywhere and everywhere we wanted.
holding hands and we'll just walk .. and walk .
tired? and we just find some random place to sit down cause im a lazy bum.

but now, everywhere i go.
i see our shadow.
sitting at our 老地方 with nai they all doesnt feel the same.
doesnt feel the same sitting with you.
used to sit there and wait for you to come pick me up.
you used to sit there and wait for me cause im always late.


im so used to seeing your face.


before that when i was taking my bus 51 to hougang,
a sudden thought shot through my head.

memories of me sitting this same bus to meet you.
me sitting in this bus msg-ing you telling yoo i'll reach soon
while im still a long way to go.
memories of us sitting in this bus,
with you sitting beside me,
holding my hand through out,
sending me to my doorstep like a gentleman.

but now,
im alone in the damn bus.
my hands are empty.
my seats is empty.

i should really change my habit of rushing into the mrt to quickly save a seat for you.
or sitting on the outer seat on the bus to save a seat for you once you come.

without you,
i need to learn to eat my OR in my oyster egg,
i need to learn to bring my own jacket,
i need to learn how to warm myself up when i cold.
i need to learn to wake myself up in the morning.
i need to learn to control my temper.
i need to carry my own bag,
and not to put so much things inside until its too heavy for me to carry.
i need to learn to be independent for so many things in my life.

im never felt so alone in my life.
never felt so helpless.
never felt so lost.

its like boom,
than there you are,
telling me things are not working out.
telling me you're quite surprised that you like your new found freedom life.

yoo made me feel like i restrict you too much until you cant breathe.
yoo made me feel that i didnt make you happy.
yoo made me feel feel that im fucked up.
from the core to the outside.

all i can say is i was trying,
all this while,
growing up,
trying to be good gf that you can show to the world.
trying to make you, make us a better couple, a better person .
trying to protect you from this harsh world.

but all it seems to you is that im controlling,
i dont let you breathe,
i demand too much from you.

can anyone tell me isnt all relationship like this ?
you are together day after day.
grow up day after day.
changing hopefully for the better together everyday.
trying to help each other to be better in your own ways.

i really dont know whats right, whats wrong.
whats to be done.
whats not to be done in a relationship.



a short trip to hougang.
everything comes crashing down.
memories come flooding back like a broken damn.

now i know why i've been avoiding hougang.
avoid areas that you work.

i was protecting myself.
keeping all the memories back.
keeping myself from thinking back and feeling hurt.


the urge was so big when i was in hougang.
i wanted to go to your doorstep and wait for you to come home.
and tell you how much i missed you.
your hands.
your hugs.
your smile.
your frowns.
your everything.


but you told me your mind is made up.
all i wanted is some breathing space for us.
believin that we come back to each other.
cause we are right for each other.

but sometimes,
还是不要放手比较好。
有时候，
手一放了。
就不想牵回了。

you used to tell me this,
时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天　就有以后.

now i finally know what this lyrics sentence means.


sometimes i'll call up my friends when im seriously close to breaking down.
some of you scold ,
some of you give me advise.

thank you.
but somehow,
my insides are screaming.

i dont need preaching,
dont need advise.

i just need someone to listen.

none of you have been through this.
cause none of you have been through the same kind of relationship,
none of you were together with a guy like him.

no one in this world is.

the heartache is the same.
immensely painfully.

but,
its frustrating not being able to put out my thoughts.
and find someone who knows.
i dont know.
maybe my heart is closed.
is dead.
is scared.

so i cant hear.
cant take in comforting.

i really hate myself sometimes.
why can i laugh still i ask myself,
why can i still carry on pretendin that this is not disturbing me.
this is not hurting me ?

it fucking hurts.
thats all i can say.
fucking fucking hurts.

i dont want time to wash away my heartache.
i dont want time to wash away my memories with you.
i dont want our anniversary date to be fade away with time.

im so scared that i'll forget your face,
forget your anniversary date.
forget your smell,
forget the touch of your hands,
your lips.

i dont want to forget you.


but i guess i 自找的,
i was the one asking for break.
hoping that just some time apart will do good.
I WAS SO WRONG.

if i knew that once i let you go,
once yoo seen the world outside,
you'll think that our world is too small,
too stuffy,
too boring,
with just 2 person.


but what can i do ?
nothing.

i miss you like crazy.
but i know things cant never be the same.


i cannot believe you dont love me anymore.
i cannot believe it just takes a month plus for you to forget our time together.
four freaking years.
FOUR.

i dont want to be forgetten.
dont want to be referred to as "my ex"
I DONT WANT.

i dont know why,
you can say im contradicting.
thats what you think.

i have so many contradicting thoughts.
the more i laugh on the outside.
the more i hurt inside.

i have nowhere to pour out my anger,
my fustration,
my sorrow,
my tears.

i dont feel like talking about it.
but a part of me is hoping the someone would truely understand.

i dont know what im doing.
really dont know dont know dont know.

what are you thinking ?
i really wanna know.
is life really better without me ?
i dont want your life to be better without me.
you can say im selfish.

but love is.


i seriously dont know what to say what to do what to feel.
i really dont know.


this is shit..
blabbing doesnt help me one bit.
doesnt.

fuck this shit,
fuck you.
fuck love.
fuck this world.

fuck you.